The Official

David Wright Universal Disclaimer

This Disclaimer was stolen from Joris Zwart

In my signature, there is a line that says #include <disclaimer.h>. Of course, such a line is useless without providing the actual disclaimer somewhere. To resolve this issue once and forever, the full contents of the file 'disclaimer.h' have been printed below. Read this page in full to know your rights.

Disclaimer: This message does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; Copyright (C) 1995 David Wright; all rights reserved; this document is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the posting in commercial publications without written permission from the copyright holder at the e-mail address above; further edistributions of this document or its parts are allowed via Usenet repostings, anonymous FTP, electronic transmissions, storage media, or printed copy as long as this notice is included and no monetary fee is charged; other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted; messages are subject to change without notice; messages are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this Usenet offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; article is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; no shoes, no shirt, no article; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized article service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these articles may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good newsreader;

  text used in these articles is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the truth of these messages; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a Usenet expert; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; article offer valid only at participating Usenet sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the article list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. If something offends you, lighten up, Consult your physician before reading this article. May cause drowsiness. Must be over 17. Not available in all states. Prices subject to change. Proof of purchase required. Read label before using. Not responsible for typographical errors. Subject to local regulation. Warrantee period limited. Close cover before striking. Subject to availability. No COD's. Sales tax not included. Local restrictions may apply. Shipping & handling extra. All orders subject to review. Do not give to children under 8 years of age. May cause excitability. Avoid alcoholic beverages while reading this article. Use caution while operating mechanical devices. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. Keep this and all articles out of the reach of children. May be unsuitable for sensitive people. Do not read this article if you are currently taking a drug for depression. Neither the seller not the manufacture will be liable for any brain damage arising from reading this article. The buyer assumes all risks associated with reading this article. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician. This article is not a savings account and is not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Use with adequate ventilation. Avoid prolonged or repeated contact with skin. Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate. Store in original containers. Always replace sleeve before discarding any computer disk. Get medical attention if symptoms persist. Harmful if swallowed. Do not remain in enclosed areas after use.

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